Following the death of her father, Zafar Nomani, at age 93, investigative journalist Asra Nomani reflects on his life philosophy and the enduring lessons he imparted. Nomani, who passed away in August, lived by a principle of gratitude, famously articulated as "I get to..." rather than "I have to..." This perspective, forged through early life adversities including surviving the Bengal famine of 1943, shaped his approach to work, family, and service.
Nomani's daughter recounts pivotal moments that illustrate her father's deep-seated belief in the dignity of labor. One such memory is of her father seeing his former professor washing cars in 1962, an event that profoundly impressed upon him the value of every task. This ethos extended to his own life, where even humble chores were undertaken with a sense of purpose and gratitude.
Asra Nomani shares how her father's quiet acts of service enabled her own independence and career. She describes how he supported her aspirations, from driving her to internships to helping her mother launch a boutique. His philosophy of "serving humanity" and "helping his wife" characterized his actions, often performed behind the scenes and without complaint. He instilled in her a scientific mindset, teaching that "life is multivariate" and encouraging her to challenge assumptions, a lesson that informed her development as a journalist.
Despite facing societal expectations and personal challenges, including her own unexpected pregnancy, Zafar Nomani offered unconditional support. His response to her situation was a simple "I love you" and the creation of a new room for her and her child, demonstrating a profound capacity for love and service.
In his later years, Nomani dedicated himself to caring for his grandson, embodying his lifelong commitment to family and duty. Even in his final days, he continued to express gratitude, whispering "Thank you" amidst respiratory treatments.
Asra Nomani's reflection culminates in a deeper understanding of her father's legacy, particularly his role as a "a girl dad before it was a thing." She recounts instances where he stood by her in advocating for women's rights within their religious community, even stepping down from a mosque board to protest unequal treatment. His willingness to learn and adapt, even changing his own mind, demonstrated a remarkable openness.
On this Labor Day weekend, Asra Nomani finds herself tending to her father's tools and continuing his legacy of service. She recognizes that the "dignity of labor" extends beyond professional work to the quiet acts of caring for others, making life possible for loved ones, and doing the work that often goes unapplauded. It is, she concludes, the dignity of a father warming his daughter's hands in the rain, a full-circle moment she experienced again holding her father's hands in his final days.