Couples Turn to Pole Dancing to Strengthen Relationships

As more couples seek novel ways to deepen their bonds, pole dancing has emerged as a unique activity that strengthens relationships, enhances intimacy, and fosters physical connection. Despite societal stigmas and online criticism, couples are embracing the sport, citing its benefits for both their bodies and their relationships.

Misha and Sam, newlyweds from Los Angeles, incorporated a pole dancing routine into their wedding reception, replacing the traditional first dance with flips and splits. Their performance, which has garnered significant online attention, highlights a growing trend of couples turning to pole dancing as a shared interest. "It’s like a metaphor for marriage," Sam, an engineer, told The Post, referring to the reliance and balance required when dancing together.

This practice extends beyond Misha and Sam. In New York City, Amanda Kenberg and her boyfriend George Forchuk, both students at Pole Superwoman, credit pole dancing for bringing them closer. "Pole dancing together is very rewarding. We get to see each other learn and fail," Kenberg said. Forchuk added that the activity has helped them navigate the criticism they receive, urging others to "learn to enjoy and support your partner in everything they do."

Relationship therapists note the value of shared physical activities. Cyndi Darnell, a sex and relationship therapist, explained that activities requiring close physical connection can foster "attunement" between partners, leading to a co-regulation of nervous systems and heartbeats that transcends words. "When engaging in a physical activity with another person, a co-regulation of nervous systems and heartbeats can occur, creating a sense of connection and communication that transcends words and conscious thought," Darnell stated.

Travis, an IT specialist and Army veteran, and his wife Laura, a nurse, have been pole dancing together for over two years. Initially, Travis encouraged Laura to try pole dancing to boost her confidence. "It built my confidence. I started to get more comfortable and fell in love with the community, learning tricks and doing exercises that feel more like fun," Laura said, describing their sessions as "date nights."

Travis, who admits to initial discomfort, has seen improvements in his mobility, flexibility, and agility. He also highlighted the increased sync between him and Laura, stating, "We do dance lifts, mounts and dismounts on the same pole." Despite facing some ribbing from his military friends, Travis has even introduced some of them to the activity, who he says end up loving it.

Internationally, the trend is also gaining traction. Domenico, a tattoo artist from Naples, Italy, and his girlfriend Lauryn, a pole instructor, have found that pole dancing has strengthened their bond. Domenico, initially skeptical, now recommends it to other men. "I’d never really considered pole dancing as a sport because I assumed it was mostly practiced by women and that the benefits, such as flexibility, were mainly for them," he said. "But now, I would absolutely recommend pole dance to men."

Younger generations are also embracing couples pole dancing. Gen Zers Tara Atienza and Francis Santos from San Diego, California, regularly share their joint pole dancing routines online. Atienza, who learned from instructors she calls "nighttime ballerinas," teaches Santos advanced tricks. "Despite the stigma around pole dancing, there’s a major emphasis on calisthenics," Santos noted. "It requires a ton of skill, strength and coordination."

Both couples and experts agree that shared interests and physical activities can be crucial for relationship success. According to Pew Research, over 60% of married adults cite "shared interests" and satisfying sex as key components of a strong marriage. For these couples, pole dancing has become a powerful tool for connection, communication, and mutual growth.