Holidaying with teenagers can present unique challenges, from constant bickering to excessive screen time and financial demands. Clinical psychologist and mother of three, Dr. Beth Mosley, has shared strategies to help families navigate these potential pitfalls and ensure a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
One common issue is sibling conflict, which can be exacerbated by the close quarters and lack of personal space during a trip. Dr. Mosley advises parents not to referee every argument, but instead to de-escalate by separating the siblings. Allowing them individual time during the day, before coming together for meals, can make them more amenable to spending time together. She also suggests lowering the expectation that siblings must constantly enjoy each other's company.
Teenagers experiencing a new romance may also struggle with being away from their partners. Dr. Mosley recommends acknowledging their feelings of missing their significant other, but gently redirecting their focus to the present family vacation. The goal is to allow them some connection without the entire holiday revolving around phone calls or video chats.
Body image concerns can also surface, particularly for teenage girls. Instead of dismissing their anxieties, Dr. Mosley suggests validating their feelings of self-consciousness and shifting the focus to the importance of their friendship and enjoying their time together. Parents are also encouraged to be mindful of their own body hang-ups, as teenagers can absorb these insecurities.
Managing holiday spending, especially on meals, is another area where conflicts can arise. Dr. Mosley recommends setting clear expectations before dining out, such as agreeing on a main course and a drink, with extras requiring prior approval. For older teens with their own money, offering to cover a set amount of their meal cost can provide a sense of autonomy while managing budgets.
Schedules and sleep habits can also be a source of friction. While teens need sleep, Dr. Mosley suggests agreeing on specific days for family activities that require an early start, balanced with opportunities for lazy mornings. Communicating departure times the night before can prevent morning-time disputes.
Screen time, particularly with the prevalence of platforms like TikTok, can disrupt family time. Dr. Mosley emphasizes the importance of using headphones and setting clear rules around phone usage during meals and other family activities. She acknowledges that a completely phone-free holiday may be unrealistic, but stresses the need for consideration towards other family members and the surrounding environment.
When it comes to wardrobe choices, Dr. Mosley advises against directly policing a teenager's attire. Instead, she suggests discussing the context of where the family is going and what activities are planned, helping teens to make more thoughtful decisions about their clothing. The aim is to foster independent decision-making rather than simple compliance.
Dr. Beth Mosley is the author of "Happy Families: How To Protect And Support Your Child’s Mental Health."