Carrie Grant Details Trauma of Autistic Child's Suicide Watch

Television presenter and vocal coach Carrie Grant has described the profound trauma of her autistic child being on suicide watch, stating that the experience has "changed forever" her outlook on life.

Speaking on Holly Willoughby's YouTube show, Together, Grant recounted the difficult period between the ages of 13 and 16 when her child, Tylan, who is non-binary and has Asperger’s and dyscalculia, struggled significantly at school. "I don't think I will ever be the same person I was before that," Grant said.

She explained that life improved dramatically when Tylan secured the role of Phoenix Hathaway on the soap opera Hollyoaks, a character who was also non-binary and autistic. Tylan played this role from 2018 to 2024.

Grant, married to fellow Fame Academy star David Grant, highlighted the psychological toll on parents of autistic children. "When you live in that hypervigilant space, many of us parents, autism families, the parents have complex PTSD because of these situations," she stated. "Now it's a joy to see that child thriving. But those three years... Three years is a long time to be living in fear."

Grant described the harrowing daily routine, which involved checking if her child was still alive. "It's just opening their bedroom door. The first place you look is the ceiling to check. My god, the second place you look is their duvet. Is it going up and down?"

She recalled the lack of support from the school system, citing an email from a headteacher to a Special Educational Needs Coordinator (SENCO) that read: "Dear SENCO, you do not have to answer any of Mrs. Grant's emails. I suggest we stand well back and watch the fireworks go off."

Grant's child experienced severe self-harm and was hospitalized due to suicidal ideation. "As a parent I think you're changed. I don't think I will ever be the same person that I was before that experience," Grant said. "I think I am changed forever. Some of that's for the better. Some of it's probably not, but I think every day becomes this gruelling desire to see your child alive."

Carrie and David Grant have four children, all of whom have various neurodivergent diagnoses. Their eldest, Olive Gray, 31, has ADHD and dyspraxia. Arlo, 20, is autistic and has ADHD. Tylan, 24, is non-binary, autistic, and has dyscalculia. Their youngest son, Nathan, adopted at age two, has ADHD and attachment issues.

Grant noted that Tylan's positive experience on Hollyoaks was partly due to the supportive environment. "They were met with an entire casting crew who'd all been autism trained, which means a lighting rigger on Hollyoaks has had more autism training than any teacher that's ever taught any of my children," she observed.

For confidential support, individuals can contact Samaritans on 116 123 or visit samaritans.org.