Breakdancer Raygun Recounts Mental Health Struggles After Viral Paris Olympics Meme Fame

Rachael Gunn, known by her stage name Raygun, has revealed the profound mental health toll of becoming an international meme after her performance at the Paris 2024 Olympics. Gunn shared on the "Mental As Anyone" podcast that she experienced severe depression and "dark thoughts about ending it all" in the weeks following her viral six-minute breakdancing routine.

"I don't think I left the house by myself for the first six weeks," Gunn, 39, stated. She described experiencing panic attacks if her husband, Sam Free, who also served as her coach, was late returning home or went to the supermarket alone. "It was awful," she added, recounting the intrusive thoughts about suicide as a means to escape the overwhelming situation.

Gunn, who has since quit her academic career, admitted in the Netflix documentary "Untold Raygun: Breaking Badly" that her Olympic performance was "cringe." She explained that she lacked formal Olympic training, with her head coach heavily involved in administrative duties. Her primary preparation came from her husband, a fellow breakdancer.

The intense online scrutiny extended beyond her performance, with conspiracy theories and accusations of cheating surfacing, particularly damaging due to her husband's role as her coach. Online critics also scrutinized her husband's own dancing techniques.

Gunn acknowledged in the documentary that she recognized her skills were not on par with world champions leading up to the Paris Games. However, she chose to compete to avoid future regrets, believing that not participating would haunt her more than the negative aftermath.

"I don't like to have regrets and I think that I knew deep down if I walked away, I would have regretted it more and that would have haunted me, rather than going through whatever happened," she said.

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