Dana Killion, author of the bestselling Lies mystery series, has detailed her experiences with betrayal and loss in her memoir, "Where the Shadows Dance." The book chronicles her journey following the discovery of her husband's secret wife and the subsequent, tragic death of her oldest son from a fentanyl overdose.
Killion's narrative began when an email arrived from a woman claiming to be her husband's secret wife. The message revealed a prior marriage that Killion’s husband had never disclosed. This revelation occurred as Killion was preparing to release a memoir about her marriage, which had been marked by her husband's struggles with alcoholism. She had anticipated contact from his secret lovers or associates, but not a direct message from a former spouse.
Her husband's drinking became apparent a few years into their marriage. While Killion initially did not recognize the signs of high-functioning alcoholism, the marriage was characterized by periods of sobriety followed by relapse. Despite therapy and Killion's ultimatum, sustained sobriety remained elusive, eventually leading to his enrollment in an inpatient treatment center.
During a visit to the treatment center, Killion asked her husband about past infidelity, a question she had posed before. His response, "What? You want a number?" confirmed her suspicions of extensive betrayal over their more than 20 years of marriage. This revelation plunged Killion into a period of shock, heartbreak, and legal proceedings.
As a novelist, Killion turned to journaling and memoir writing as a healing practice. It was during this time that the secret wife contacted her. The woman had discovered infidelity within the first month of her own marriage and had sought closure for decades. Killion shared her own understanding of her husband's behavior and her process of reevaluating their relationship. The conversation, she reflected, offered her an unexpected gift: perspective on her former husband's actions and an understanding of his underlying issues, allowing her to move forward without waiting decades for closure.
The author's journey through betrayal took another devastating turn three months after her memoir's release. Her youngest son contacted her with news of his older brother's death. Alex, who had been in recovery and sober for 18 months, died from a fentanyl overdose days before he was scheduled to transition from a halfway house. His body was discovered when he failed to report for work on a Monday.
Killion expressed the enduring pain of not knowing Alex's final moments, the fear that may have led him to use again, or whether fentanyl was an intentional choice or an accidental exposure. She noted that her son had saved the notes she sent him during his efforts to stay sober. Killion believes that fear—fear of insecurities, judgment, failure, and of living—was the ultimate cause of his death, mirroring the fear that drove her husband's alcoholism.
Killion advocates for open discussion of traumatic experiences as a crucial part of the healing process. She developed a method of articulating her trauma in different lengths—a one-liner, a short story, and a full narrative—to suit different contexts and audiences. She posits that the inability of men like her husband and son to address their emotional pain and express their struggles contributed to their brokenness.
Reflecting on the contact from the secret wife, Killion emphasized the importance of achieving a level of closure and perspective to speak with compassion rather than anger. She created her own "story of why" to understand her husband's behavior, believing that unresolved trauma prevents complete healing. Killion applied a similar process after her son's death, concluding that prioritizing emotional health and finding closure are essential for individuals and families to move past trauma.
Dana Killion is the author of the Lies mystery series and the memoir "Where the Shadows Dance." Her upcoming book, "Becoming Unbreakable: A Big Sister's Guide to Trauma," is scheduled for release in September 2026.