At 43, author Elizabeth Day has embraced a short bob haircut after years of striving for long, glossy hair. This change, she writes, has not only made her hair appear thicker and require less styling but has also prompted observations about societal expectations for women's appearances.
Day recounts a history of being advised on her hair, starting from her mother's early preference for shorter styles. A negative experience with a stylist in her late teens led her to grow her hair long through her twenties and thirties, despite its fine texture, which often resulted in split ends and frequent trims. Eventually, she decided to try a shorter style, experimenting with a lob before settling on a bob that rests just below her ear.
She describes her current bob as feeling "fresh and witty and very me," and appreciates its low-maintenance nature. Day contrasts this style with what she terms "porn star" hair, which she associates with "toxic masculinity" and excessive extensions and styling that detract from women's time and energy.
However, Day notes that since cutting her hair short, she has encountered numerous unsolicited opinions. These comments, ranging from strangers online calling her hair "weird" or "unfeminine" to everyday acquaintances suggesting she grow it out to be "prettier," have highlighted for her the persistent patriarchal ideas about female presentation. She cites an exchange at an airport where a familiar face insisted her hair would be "much better" if longer, and a conversation with TV presenter Emma Willis, who also sports short hair and receives similar comments, including inquiries about why she doesn't wear dresses.
Day reflects that while she loves her bob, the criticism can still be hurtful. She asserts her right to define her own womanhood through her choices, including her hairstyle, and finds inspiration in women like Emma Willis and her own mother, who also has short hair. She concludes that while she doesn't welcome the unwanted opinions, these are the women whose self-determination she admires.