Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., recently announced her decision to freeze her eggs at age 36, a personal choice she described as empowering and a means of taking control of her life. This announcement has prompted a discussion about the messages women have received regarding motherhood across different generations.
The author of the commentary, who is similar in age to Ocasio-Cortez, reflects on the "girl boss" era during which she came of age. This period, characterized by an emphasis on independence, achievement, and personal fulfillment, often promoted a self-centered approach where career and personal goals took precedence, with motherhood presented as a potential obstacle.
This cultural narrative, the author argues, taught some women not only to delay motherhood but also to question their desire for it. For those who embraced this message, the idea of prioritizing children seemed to conflict with the pursuit of an independent and exciting life.
The commentary suggests that this cultural emphasis on self-fulfillment and achievement has contributed to a societal trend of delaying childbirth. Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicates a rising age of motherhood in the United States, with a 25 percent increase in first births among women aged 35 and older between 2016 and 2023.
While acknowledging that personal circumstances such as finding a partner or infertility can influence the timing of motherhood, the piece questions the pervasive cultural messaging. It posits that reproductive technologies, while offering more options, may create a false sense of having unlimited time, understating the profound impact and potential fulfillment of motherhood.
The author shares a personal journey of realizing the desire for a larger family later in life, leading to having three children in quick succession at age 36. This experience, the commentary suggests, reordered priorities, making life more chaotic but also richer and more purposeful. The ambition for career and causes became more deeply intertwined with the future of her children and the world they will inherit.
The piece asserts that motherhood does not necessarily diminish ambition but can provide it with a deeper purpose. It challenges the notion of family and ambition as competing forces, suggesting that this may be a backward perspective. The commentary highlights that there is rarely a 'perfect' time to start a family, as other reasons to wait often emerge.
Ultimately, the commentary advocates for a shift in how society frames motherhood for young women. It argues that celebrating the postponement of motherhood as progress sends a message that it is something to be delayed or escaped, rather than a potentially significant and fulfilling aspect of life. The author encourages younger women not to let the fear of motherhood hindering their ambitions prevent them from starting a family, suggesting that marriage and children can be among the most important achievements in life.