Alexandra Shulman Recounts Overcoming Panic Attacks Related to Solitude

Alexandra Shulman, former editor of British Vogue, has revealed the profound impact of severe panic attacks that plagued her throughout her life, particularly when she was alone. In a personal account, Shulman described these attacks as so terrifying that she was convinced she would die.

Shulman recalled her first experience living alone in her own flat in London during her late twenties. At that time, she noted, it was feasible for a 27-year-old to secure a mortgage. However, the solitude triggered intense panic, making her feel as though she was on the verge of death.

"If left alone I was utterly convinced that I would die. I had to have someone with me," Shulman wrote, detailing how this condition led her to return to her parents' home during her second year at Sussex University. She explained that the chief symptom of her panic attacks was an inability to be alone.

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Shulman's experiences highlight a significant personal challenge that persisted for years. Even during her tenure as editor of Vogue, a role that involved extensive international travel, she sometimes chose to stay in separate hotel rooms from her team to have her own space.

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As she has advanced in age, now in her mid-60s, Shulman reflects on the changing nature of relationships and the inevitable reality of loss. She notes that by this stage in life, it becomes increasingly difficult to ignore the potential and actual passing of loved ones.

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Despite the lifelong struggle with panic attacks associated with being alone, Shulman has developed coping mechanisms and has learned to embrace solitude. Her candid account offers insight into managing severe anxiety and finding a way to live more comfortably with oneself.