Agony Aunt Addresses Reader's Dilemmas on Infidelity and Grief

Agony Aunt Caroline West-Meads has responded to two reader queries, one concerning unwanted advances from a friend's husband and another about a widower's family disapproving of his new lodger.

In the first scenario, a reader recounts a holiday where she was left alone with her friend's husband. She states that he became "intensely flirtatious, stopping just short of making a pass at me." The situation escalated when he later flirted with her in front of his wife. Upon returning home, the reader learned that the husband's wife had accused her of flirting with him all week. The reader expressed mortification and questioned whether she should reveal her husband's behavior.

West-Meads advised against telling the wife the truth, suggesting that she might not believe it and would find it easier to blame the reader than confront her husband's actions. She also recommended that the reader inform her own husband of the situation in case rumors reached him from another source.

In the second query, a widower of over 60 years, grieving the loss of his wife, sought a lodger for companionship and practical help after six months of loneliness. He found an "angel" from Jamaica who has made his life bearable again. However, his family and friends disapprove, believing it is too soon for him to have someone else in his life.

West-Meads acknowledged the widower's immense grief and reassured him that seeking company after a spouse's death is not disloyal. She explained that his family might not understand that companionship does not replace his late wife and may be struggling with their own grief or the reality of another woman in their mother's former home. West-Meads also advised the widower to consider whether his lodger's background and circumstances have been fully disclosed and to check references and financial arrangements, suggesting contacting Age UK for advice if he has concerns about financial gain. She recommended that the widower invite his family to voice their worries honestly and listen without defensiveness, suggesting they may need to see that the lodger treats him well and respects his late wife's memory.