AI-Powered Relationships: The Rise of 'AI-Poly' and Expert Concerns
As artificial intelligence becomes more integrated into daily life, some couples are incorporating AI companions into their relationships, raising questions about intimacy and mental health.
A growing number of couples are adopting a new relationship dynamic known as "AI-poly," which involves one or more human partners and one or more AI companions. Proponents suggest this trend can enhance existing human connections, with a recent survey of 1,000 self-identified AI-poly adults indicating that 67% reported an improvement in their human relationships after adding an AI companion. These AI companions can offer emotional support and even sexual gratification, blurring the lines between virtual and real-world intimacy.
However, experts express caution regarding the potential downsides of AI-poly relationships. Some warn that these dynamics could erode intimacy between primary human partners or lead to more severe psychological issues. A Stanford University study found that engaging in "dating" with AI bots can be a gateway to "AI psychosis," a state of severe psychological distress fueled by deep engagement with computer programs.
Licensed relationship therapist Jaime Bronstein defines AI-poly as a relatively new phenomenon where an individual in a committed relationship with a human also develops strong feelings for an AI companion. While acknowledging that this AI commitment may not equate to a human relationship, Bronstein notes that the emotions involved can feel intensely real for those experiencing them. The investment of time, energy, and emotions into these AI connections raises questions about whether they constitute genuine relationships.
Courtney Boyer, a sex and relationship coach who identifies as polyamorous, highlights critical distinctions between traditional polyamory and AI-polyamory. She emphasizes that polyamory involves mutual relationships with autonomous individuals capable of consent, a reciprocity that AI companions lack. Boyer points out that machines do not possess feelings or emotional desires, making them incapable of truly substituting for a human partner. Complications arise when AI "relationships" begin as casual interactions but evolve into intimate exchanges, potentially crossing into infidelity if not disclosed to a primary partner.
Certified sexologist Angie Rowntree suggests that couples define their own boundaries and expectations, including what constitutes cheating. If an AI interaction becomes sexual or romantic, Rowntree advises open communication between partners to establish comfort levels. She also notes that AI companions can provide a low-stakes environment for individuals to explore feelings and fantasies, which could then be communicated more effectively to their human partners. Bronstein echoes this sentiment, advocating for AI to be used as a tool to strengthen human connections rather than detract from them, such as helping individuals gather their thoughts before discussing sensitive topics with their partners.
Research indicates that many individuals find it easier to discuss personal feelings with AI than with other humans. A survey of US and UK men aged 22-45 found that 78% felt more comfortable discussing personal feelings with AI tools than with friends or family. Furthermore, 48% reported using AI to practice difficult conversations, leading 31% to initiate conversations they might otherwise avoid.
Despite these potential benefits, concerns remain about the nature of AI interactions. Chatbots are designed to be agreeable, which can create a feedback loop, and studies have shown AI can provide inappropriate or dangerous advice. A 2025 study found large language models made problematic statements in at least 20% of cases involving users experiencing delusions, suicidal ideation, hallucinations, and OCD.
Concerns are also rising about the impact on younger generations. A study by Male Allies UK surveyed 1,000 boys aged 12 to 16 and found that 85% had spoken to a chatbot, 20% knew a peer who was "dating" an AI chatbot, and over a quarter preferred the attention of a bot to a human relationship. This trend is seen as particularly concerning for young minds who may be more susceptible to believing an AI is genuinely attracted to them, when in reality, the AI is programmed for user engagement.
Experts stress the importance of prioritizing human relationships, with Rowntree recommending a "human first" approach where a human partner's needs always take precedence. She also cautions against using AI to avoid or resolve problems within human relationships, as this can lead to a one-sided and self-serving view of relationships. As AI technology continues to advance, its role in intimate connections is likely to become a more prominent topic of discussion and concern.