Zoe Marshall, wife of NRL star Benji Marshall, has publicly disclosed her 11-month secret course of Prozac, a decision she said was fraught with shame due to her prior judgment of those relying on antidepressants.
Marshall, 41, who has previously discussed her use of medically-prescribed MDMA, confessed that she long viewed antidepressants as a "cop-out" and felt ashamed about the prospect of needing medication for her mental health. However, after reaching a breaking point with her lifelong struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and emetophobia, she decided to try Prozac.
"I've always misunderstood and judged people who take medication. I thought it was a cop-out," Marshall stated in an interview with the Daily Mail. "I'd been quite open about the MDMA, but I felt way more shame about taking something that a lot of Australians take - Prozac."
She described the medication as life-saving, enabling her to confront situations that previously caused extreme fear. "It really saved my life. It gave me the ability to do situations where I thought I was going to die," she said. However, Marshall also noted a downside: emotional blunting, which affected her ability to fully experience emotions, including at her husband's book launch when he performed a haka.
Marshall explained that her emetophobia was diagnosed as OCD masking as a phobia. Despite years of therapy, including Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), her condition felt uncontrollable. It was her husband who encouraged her to reconsider her stance on medication, suggesting that her stigma and shame were hindering her progress.
After undergoing blood testing to determine potential medication efficacy, Marshall expressed regret over not trying antidepressants sooner, believing her life would have been different if she had understood their potential benefits for OCD 20 years ago. She emphasized that medication was not a standalone treatment, but was combined with fortnightly ERP therapy for meaningful change.
Marshall eventually weaned off Prozac to undergo a three-month course of MDMA-assisted psychotherapy. She described this treatment as a significant commitment, both financially and logistically, requiring family support for childcare. Her husband, initially hesitant due to his anti-drug stance, eventually came on board after speaking with the medical team.
Marshall believes MDMA allowed her to process trauma without emotional shutdown, a more effective approach than her previous decades of therapy. She noted that her husband observed a significant improvement in her ability to cope with uncertainty, remarking that the family could collectively "breathe" for the first time after she started Prozac, highlighting the profound impact her OCD had on their household.
Looking ahead, Marshall plans to undertake psilocybin treatment in March, accessed through Australia's medical system. This comes amid a period of self-discovery that includes her recent diagnoses with autism and ADHD. She has also gotten eight tattoos, each symbolizing a lesson learned, including one reading 'Be With Me' as a reminder to stay present.