In New York City, a unique fitness initiative called "Grief, Sweat & Tears" is offering a novel approach to processing loss by combining physical exercise with shared experiences of bereavement. These classes bring together individuals who have lost loved ones, providing a space for them to bond over cardio and conversation about grief.
The concept, founded by Betsy Kaplan, who lost her father to suicide in 2018, aims to offer an outlet for pent-up emotions and tension that can accompany grief. Kaplan found that while talk therapy was helpful, movement played a crucial role in her own recovery. "Movement, in conjunction with getting out your emotions, just takes the cake," she stated.
The "Grief, Sweat & Tears" events typically begin with a workout, such as barre or spin, designed to help alleviate the physical symptoms of grief. Following the exercise, participants gather to share stories and connect with others who have similar experiences. This structure allows for a release of endorphins alongside emotional expression.
Participants have described finding a sense of unspoken acceptance and understanding in these gatherings. Margot Lichtenthal, who attended after losing her father, noted that talking about grief with those who genuinely understand is a different experience than discussing it in other contexts. "When you go through loss, it's really easy to feel alone in a crowded room," she explained. "I felt such a sense of unspoken acceptance and understanding that we've all gone through."
New York clinical psychologist Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa supports this approach, noting that "taking those pent-up feelings and incorporating them into their fitness routines can be cathartic."
Kaplan began by contacting fitness studios, and the idea resonated widely. The first event, held at SLT Tribeca, included individuals who had also experienced loss. "You put yourself out there, and the person on the back end either can relate or knows somebody very close to them that can relate," Kaplan said. "Because grief is really all around us."
To participate, individuals fill out a form sharing details about the person they lost. The program has grown from its initial 13 attendees to managing waitlists, with studios now reaching out to Kaplan to host events. While some initial classes offered discounted fees or were free, future sessions will have a fee, with Kaplan aiming to keep them affordable and accessible.
Jenna DeNapoli, a nurse who lost her father, found the classes particularly helpful in an environment where discussing feelings was not common. After connecting with others who had gone through similar situations, she felt "seen, which I've never felt." She added, "There's something so special about connecting with people who have gone through similar situations."
"Grief, Sweat & Tears" is not intended to replace traditional therapy or support groups but rather to create a comfortable space for open discussion. The program's social media often uses dark humor to balance empowerment with the reality of loss. While not structured with prompts, Kaplan may invite attendees to share stories during challenging times, such as anniversaries.
Anthony Martin, who lost his mother, found relief and a new perspective from an event near the anniversary of her passing. "Feeling that sense of understanding and community gave me relief," he said. The classes encourage participants to think about grief more intentionally, fostering confidence in offering support to others.
Interest in "Grief, Sweat & Tears" is expanding, with inquiries about starting chapters in other cities. Kaplan's focus remains on providing a unique space for grieving individuals and building a supportive community where participants can form lasting friendships and networks.