A 53-year-old mother in Yorkshire says she has endured repeated, violent assaults at the hands of her teenage daughter over the past five years, an ordeal that culminated in clumps of hair being ripped from her scalp, a broken finger and a hole in her retina.
The woman, who spoke under a changed name, told reporters she lives in fear and has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after years of assaults that began when her daughter entered secondary school. Police were called on multiple occasions; officers arrested the daughter once after a particularly violent episode in August 2023 in which the mother and a younger son were injured and the family home was damaged.
The mother's account is one of several that campaigners and support groups say reflect a rise in child-to-parent abuse (CPA), a form of domestic violence that is less frequently discussed than other types of family violence. Figures compiled by the Femicide Census show that in 2022 more women were killed by their sons than by strangers, and the parental support organisation Pegs (Parental Education Growth Support) reported a 112 percent increase in parents and related professionals seeking advice for CPA in the past year.
"The worsening mental health crisis, public-sector funding cuts and the cost-of-living crisis may well be behind the rise," Pegs founder Michelle John said, adding that neurodevelopmental conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can affect emotional regulation and are often cited as triggers. John stressed that it is often impossible to pinpoint a single cause and that cases typically involve multiple, interwoven factors.
In the Yorkshire case, the mother described a long and escalating pattern of behaviour that began with increasingly aggressive outbursts and progressed to repeated physical violence. She said the first serious incident occurred when her daughter, then 11, returned home intoxicated and later threw objects down a staircase, breaking the mother's finger. The mother said she initially attributed the episode to alcohol but increasingly encountered more severe assaults, including biting, punching and repeated shaking.
The daughter was referred to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) but was discharged after refusing to speak in offered sessions. The mother later paid for private assessments; the daughter was diagnosed with ADHD in August 2022 and with autism the following year. The mother said medication produced only brief improvements.
Attempts to discipline or restrict the daughter's behaviour often triggered renewed violence, the mother said. She described hiding at home when injured, placing locks on doors, installing cameras in downstairs rooms and keeping photographs of injuries to document incidents. She said she had spent about £20,000 on tutoring and repairs after damage caused by her daughter, who was expelled from a private school in January 2023 and later placed on bail and in foster care after the August 2023 arrest.
The mother said she has called police "half a dozen times" and that officers have often appeared surprised at the severity of the situation when they arrive. After her daughter was charged in November 2023, the mother withdrew her intention to give evidence on the eve of a trial in March 2024 because she said she did not want to criminalise behaviour that she believed was sometimes related to autistic meltdowns. The prosecution subsequently collapsed. The daughter has not been physically violent toward her mother since but continues to issue threats and sustained verbal abuse, the mother said.
The mother said the violence has had lasting consequences: permanent eye damage, chronic anxiety and PTSD. She described living "on edge," avoiding some public situations and being alarmed by loud noises. Despite the trauma, she added that she sometimes experiences moments of affection for her daughter and fears for her wellbeing.
Support organisations and professionals say CPA is complex and sensitive, often accompanied by shame and isolation among parents. Those seeking help include parents from a range of professional backgrounds, Pegs said. "The overwhelming majority feel ashamed, guilty and isolated," John said.
Clinicians and advocates point to several systemic pressures that may exacerbate CPA. Long waiting lists for mental health services for children and adolescents, reductions in public funding for community services and societal stressors such as economic hardship can limit access to timely assessments and therapies, they say. Neurodevelopmental diagnoses such as ADHD and autism can complicate emotional regulation and behavioural responses, but experts caution against conflating diagnosis with culpability.
Police, family courts and social services face challenges in addressing CPA, advocates say, because interventions must balance the safety of victims with the needs and rights of the young person involved. Criminalising behaviour that may be linked to untreated neurodevelopmental conditions risks further trauma for families, while failing to act can leave victims at continued risk, support workers say.
The mother's case illustrates those competing concerns. She said she initially resisted arresting her daughter and later asked for bail conditions to be lifted so she could maintain contact while the girl was in foster care. The mother said she eventually made a statement to police principally because her younger son had been hurt.
Advocates say increased public awareness and specialised support are needed. Pegs and similar organisations provide information, casework and peer support for parents affected by CPA; they recommend multiagency approaches involving mental health, education, social care and criminal justice professionals. Campaigners also call for greater investment in child and adolescent mental health services and training for frontline workers who encounter CPA.
The mother said she has sought psychiatric and paediatric opinions privately and installed home safety measures while continuing to care for her daughter at home. She said the interplay of personality, neurodivergence and difficulty expressing emotions through means other than extreme anger likely underpins her daughter's behaviour but that there remains no single explanation.
She concluded that despite feeling a range of emotions from deep love to loathing, she still worries about her daughter's future. "I would die for her," she said.
Names and some details in the mother's account have been changed. Pegs offers information and support for those affected by child-to-parent abuse at pegsupport.co.uk.