The latest Dear Abby column addressed two readers seeking guidance about strained relationships: one asking whether it would be rude to stop replying to a distant acquaintance who sends only perfunctory messages, and another asking how to help a cousin who has endured divorce, business failure and family estrangement.
In the first letter, a reader identifying as “Flummoxed in Florida” described a longtime casual acquaintance, “Stacy,” who now lives across the country and periodically sends brief notes that amount to a greeting followed by a terse reply such as “been busy” when asked about her life. The reader said she formerly shared details about her work, hobbies and family that received no real acknowledgement or reciprocation.
Abigail Van Buren, who writes under the Dear Abby byline and is also known as Jeanne Phillips, told the reader that it would not be rude to stop responding. The columnist said the correspondent’s description suggested the acquaintance was sending generic messages to maintain superficial contact rather than to engage meaningfully, and that no one is obligated to reply to such outreach.
The column’s second letter came from “Loving Cousin in New Mexico,” who said her cousin “Carly” has endured a bitter divorce, a failed business, the accidental death of one son and another son’s struggles with drugs and alcohol. The cousin added that Carly’s daughter has largely sided with her father and speaks to her mother only rarely and unkindly. Living in separate cities, the writer said she checks in daily by text, offers strategies for handling the business and legal fallout, and worries that Carly has no one else.
Van Buren told the reader she had already given substantial emotional support and suggested that arranging in‑person, one‑on‑one time might lift Carly’s spirits. She urged the correspondent to offer hope by reminding Carly that the end of one chapter can lead to new opportunities, and to encourage learning from setbacks so mistakes are less likely to be repeated. The columnist framed the guidance in practical terms and reiterated that emotional presence, when possible, can be an important form of assistance.
Dear Abby is a long‑running syndicated advice column founded by Pauline Phillips and continued by her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, who writes as Abigail Van Buren. The column regularly answers questions about family, friendship and personal crises, offering concise counsel to readers seeking clarity on everyday dilemmas. Readers can contact Dear Abby through the column’s website or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.